lack of production

My to do list is long. Yet today I got very very little done, just some laundry. Shorty and I are home alone so we went trick or treat bowling, then to the O Club for more Halloween goodies with our neighbor. Since High School Musical 3 came out this weekend we went to that. I have to say it ws very good. It is so refreshing to see a teen movie with only 1 kiss!! Shorty loved it, I didn't know she would already know some of the songs but sure enough she was singing along. So I think that CD will be on her Christmas list....maybe then we can take a break from Hanna Montana!

I watched the UFC PPV tonight, I was so disappointed in the Title fight with Silva v Cote. the fight ended in the 3rd round (the longest Silva fight yet!!) when Cote blew out his right knee. I don't think it would have gone much further than that anyways. J and I have a discussion as to who can beat Silva, I dont' think it is going to happen for quite some time. but what a bummer to see the fight end that quickly.

So I am lacking so much motivation I can't even head down to bed. the week is going to be starting much sooner than I am prepared. Monday is my volunteer day and then I work the rest of the week. I am hoping they don't send the child out of the room until Christmas. She did have some great days last week....followed by a bad one. So if she is going to life skills I am out of a job. I really enjoy my job with the kids. Although friday was crack day!! over half the class had on low riders. Oh and then there was the snot....so maybe my job isn't taht great!

Just what was she thinking?

I am working as an instructional aid for a developmental Kindergarten. Tuesday is Art day. so at 10:20 we line up and walk down the hall to art. life should be good right?? Ok we get there discover we are painting...so back to our room for paint smocks...then as we are in the process of putting them on the kids the teacher starts to pass out paint and brushes....to the kids with no smocks. I think only one managed to get paint on herself at that time. The project is going to be cool when it is done....if we don't loose our minds first! So then the kids are given the paper, paint, brushes, and object to paint. Well these are developmental kids, holding an object and getting paint on the edge to stamp with, well that's not so easy for some. I understand why the Art teacher feels stress, I feel stress when we are in there. Ok so done with the FIRST color, get up go to the sink, put your object in the sink, use 2 fingers to wash your paint brush, wash your hands then go sit down. Now give that instruction to any 5 year old and you are still going to have problems...did I mention these kids are developmenal? When I say developmental I'm talking kids with Autism, or sever learning disablities. So we get to the sink and start to play in the water, not washing our brushes, but look there are paint containers in the sink! Oh and they have piant in them...look at your object....So with help the kids manage to get that accomplished, then back to their seats. Where they are given MORE paint and a strip of cardboard, to paint the end. Again for some this is too much. But Like I said this IS going to be a cool project if it doesn't drive us crazy first! Again more painted fingers, friends, paint drips, and the idea of painting just the edge is difficult. Off to the sink for more washing...and painting my pants.... and our classmate who was blonde now has green hair...and our other friend has green freckles on his cheek.....OK done with that!! Back to our table with some crayons to make a broken line and fill the paper with them. some kids did...but they were not dark enough. so they had to do them again. Thankfully we were done with paint! I'm sure that they should be able to paint with a brush, they should be able to hold a pencil, but some kids lack the fine motor skills necessary to do so. Some kids are still at the finger painting skill level. so multi task project like this is just frustrating for the kids being told that their "masterpiece" isn't correct and then thrown into the trash. Its frustrating for us trying to get the task completed as directed.

the set up for the room is also difficult the kids loose line of sight with the teacher and loose focus on what they are to be doing. Some times I wonder if the teacher made a few changes if she would see more succes with all her classes.

I understand that we can't change all of education for those who don't fit inside the box...but when you have a group that are all in the same box shouldn't you work inside that box to get them all out. Main streaming does not work for all, so expecting everyone to be able to do the same project is unrealistic. I have seen the projects that the art teacher has done. The kids have done some very cool projects. I just wonder what the process of making those projects was like before I was with the group.

Are you listening?

Have you ever told someone something and then wonder did they hear me? Or are they jsut saying "yeah.....mmmhhhh....right...ok" but not really hearing the words you say? receintly I told someone what I wanted. But then when those things actually happened I was told "well thats not what you want'...Hello!! Did you not hear me? Where did they get the idea that I don't know what I am doing? I have no skills? I have no...no.... Do you even know me? How can the people in your life not know you when you flat out tell them THIS IS what I want. Why do I get compared with others who lack desire and motivation to improve the situation they are in. The choices I make are for presonal satisfaction, presonal development. and presonal growth. Pushing to complete a goal that I have made for myself....but its not the image others feel that I fit. So why should I put so much effort into what others think. why am I wasting my energy in justifying the choices that I make. My choices don't hurt anyone but benifit many....they are just not the ideal that is expected for me by others.